February 2007

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Jordi's Mad Jaunt

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January 05, 2007

Nathalie BOUFFE

So I’ve been in New York for three weeks now.  This means that for every eight miles I’ve walked I’ve probably ingested three pounds of crispy pork belly.  Good thing my new coat is a cape, or I would have had to start shopping for maternity wear.  Best meals?  Worst?

A sublime dinner—Berkshire piggy with fromage blanc spaetzle, guanciale and escarole—at Dan Barber’s Blue Hill followed Marco Canora’s genial, generous cooking at Hearth, courtesy of Carlisha.  The pizzas at Otto were delicious (not to mention the creamy olive-oil ice cream), if somewhat hampered by the Cheesecake Factory corral-type atmosphere—Lupa, where I shared a late-night porky feast with Saxelby, was much mellower.  Momofuku’s gets mixed reviews; it’s good, I think, but ultimately overrated (Jables and Freakock, whose Momofuku’s came back up after it went down, were nonplussed).  Café Leon, on the under hand: totally underrated!  They toss a mean salad.  Boqueria: tasty but banal.  Fatty Crab: fatty indeed, but no less delicious, who knew watermelon married crispy pork so well? Mexican and margaritas on Houston, empanadas on first, David’s Bagels on thirteenth, woo woo wee wee woo!

The best things I ate weren’t always in restaurants.  When John and Judy came home from lunch at Peter Luger’s they had a doggie-bag steak that we ate cold in the wee hours, rending the flesh apart like…dogs, kinda.  Ferris Bueller and I stank up one smart apt with the smells of Tennessee bacon swizzled with eggs.  And I’ve munched a few ideal bagels on the subway. 

MY GOD this is quite the list.  No wonder that every time I reach my fifth-floor apartment door I can barely breathe.  Or is there something else I should blame that on?  Let’s save that one for our next discussion.  Or never.

This needs to stop.  I am hemorrhaging money. 

October 07, 2006

Despite Adversity She Continues To Bouffe

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Since the blog has been hijacked, there seems to be little point in carrying on, as I’d been pretty shit about updating in the past several months anyway, and the bastard pirates who pulled the rug out from under me won’t listen to offers under, like, a thousand dollars for nathaliebouffe.com.  But tonight’s manifested itself as a chance, quiet pause in my Irish saga—literally the first moment in two weeks I’ve even had a computer to look at—and I thought, because I certainly wouldn’t want to use it to do anything even mildly productive, that I might tell you what I’ve been cooking and eating this month. 

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August 06, 2006

American Update

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Forgive me for being such a fair-weather blogger, but every sentence I am capable of stringing together this summer belongs to MTV France, a circumstance unlikely to change until the beginning of September, unless I get my hands on some really strong alpine crack (anyone have a reputable source?).  But I still feel compelled to make a few comments about my recent dip back into the American food panorama, where I found the water warm, lightly salted, and very, very appealing.

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May 09, 2006

Desperately Seeking Umami: My Lunch at the Fat Duck

050906_025 The day began usually enough.  My alarm clock rang too early for its own good, and I lounged, yawning, in bed, but only for a few minutes; there was sunlight dappling the white walls of my room as it filtered through the newly fattened boughs outside my window. 

050206_009 The walk to Hackney Central takes me through two long blocks of brown tenements and dirty brick row-houses before spitting me out at the Round Chapel on Clapton Road, a nonconformist church that has, like Hackney, attracted weirdos for over a century. I stopped for scrambled eggs on cheap wet toast at the Marina Cafe above the Mare Street Narroway; the matronly egg-scrambler sang "Locomotion" along with the radio, while workmen in fluorescent yellow vests spooned up beans, caffeine, nicotine. 

050206_013The 48 bus, which takes me to work, zips London down from north to south, beginning at Walthamstow and meeting me at Hackney Baths, a public swimming pool built in 1897.  The 38, which zigzags from northeast to southwest London, follows the 48 awhile but turns after the train station, bending gracefully around Hackney's more genteel curbs before bulldozing its way into the melee of junky hardware stores and West Indian groceries and Senegalese fabric shops and Turkish barbers of Dalston Junction.  Dingy curtains flap desperately from a squat's blown-out windows, like pirate flags; the streets become a veritable carnival of color. 

The 48, however, chugs down Cambridge Heath and turns into Hackney Road, down the long row of small factory fronts touting office furniture or custom-made shoes or woodturning services.  Some are specialized merchants who've built a business solely upon PVC pipes or sticks of incense or divots; some were and went bust, their storefronts boarded or bricked up, their windows jagged shards of glass.  We soar, all of us pieces of variously burnt toast sitting in a glass-walled toaster, over train gullies strung below with electrics like spiderwebs.

050906_002_2In Shoreditch the atmosphere changes: suddenly, the city's begun.  A blue-neon strip club atop the precum of Old Street at which a former housemate of mine worked forms the frontier; behind it, the bricked-up factories, before it, the bars and workspaces of the City, which intensify exponentially until Liverpool Street Station, a quivering hive of people-ants circulating like an ant farm on fast-forward.

The ground on which the station stands was founded as the priory of St. Mary of Bethlem in 1247 (where was your genetic material then?).  It became the world's oldest psychiatric hospital: records show that at least as early as 1403 the hospital served patients with mental disorders.  The hospital's reputation is tarred by its history of putting patients on display, insanity as a public spectacle--hence the reason, incidentally, that the word 'bedlam' came to signify chaos.  Visitors were allowed to bring long sticks with which to poke the inmates; in 1814, there were 100,000 such visits. 

Liverpool Street station was built atop the hospital in 1874, took a hit from a Gotha bomber in World War I (162 dead), had its glass ceiling shattered in World War II, burnt down in the 1960s, appeared in Mission: Impossible in the nineties, and got a subterranean tunnel blown up during the July 7 bombings last year.  (The oldest building in Miami's from, like, 1920, but hey, Will Smith wrote a song about us!)

050906_032The effects of the congestion charge become immediately apparent past Liverpool Street; private cars all but disappear. The only vehicles owning this chunk of road are red buses and black taxis and white delivery vans.  If I'm sitting on the top level, I've got ten minutes to watch a county of drones peer tiredly at the hulking monitors perched before them, ticking at keyboards, reching for their bottomless cups of coffee or Diet Coke or little twisty bags of cocaine.  (Or their bloody tea.  This is England, remember.)  They sit next to and atop each other like alphabetized spices on cupboard shelves. 

The streets here still have medieval names like Cheapside and Poultry Street and Pudding Lane, the last named for the 'puddings' (entrails and organs) that would fall from the carts coming down the lane from the butchers in Eastcheap as they headed for the waste barges on the Thames.  There's even a Gropecunt Lane; I'll leave it to you to figure out what was on offer down that street.

Finally: London Bridge.  As a bridge it's relatively boring, but the view--foggy, rainy, sleeting, gray--is always beautiful; in the sun, the reflection off the waves and glass windows of the buildings limning the river positively dazzle.  On the other side of the river: Southwark, Borough Market,
Neal's Yard Dairy
.

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Fuck it, though.  I'm not going to work today.  Instead, I've got a lunch date with the Fat Duck.

Continue reading "Desperately Seeking Umami: My Lunch at the Fat Duck" »

April 21, 2006

Scratch That

So, I said I came back from Wales all refreshed and rejuvenated and fairly bursting with health.  Yeah...that didn't last.  This week I've rediscovered all sorts of appetites, but none more so than the most literal: for the past three days, I've had about eight meals between my mornings and midnights.  On Tuesday I tore into my last, greedily hoarded package of Vienna Fingers (see 1, 2 and 3 ).  What's today, Thursday?  The last one is eyeing me, all lonely-like from its cheap plastic tray.

Mmmmm.....

Rejoin your brothers, old friend.

p.s.  This guy is waaay out of line.
p.p.s. These dudes, now...far more hip to the scene! My preference would be for the Munch-ems, VF and cake eraser combo.

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April 17, 2006

A Too-Smug Frances Moore Lappé Moment Gone Awry

 

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To say that after a viscous, fluttery late Saturday night spent singing off-key karaoke at notorious, red-ceilinged Hackney boozer the Dolphin, I was loath to embark upon three trains to Wales is rather an understatement.  Sundays are the one day I'm exempt from the obnoxious beeping that announce the glauque beginning of my other days, and I keep that sacred, staying in bed usually until six or seven p.m.  If you're a Londoner, you'll admit: for the last six months, there's been little reason to leave the bed on Sunday afternoon, other than to go up to the window and realize how much better off you are back under the sheets.

But my love for Victoria Stewy-Libby is such that I roused myself and packed a bag for Bristol.  I was seeing so blurry that I lost (and then found) my phone and missed the first train, which meant spending two hours in that lousiest of Welsh towns, Swansea.  I sat in the basement bar of the Grand Hotel across the train station and drank cups of tea so slowly that they went cold before I reached the bottom, watching the two other patrons of the bar drink noiseless pints spellbound by the rugby on wide-screen TVs behind them.  Two younger lads came in, evidently for a 'catch-up,' plonked themselves on barstools, spoke for five minutes, and drank the next three pints stone-silent, staring fixedly ahead.  I had a four-minute cell-phone conversation, and in it probably spoke more words than the sum of everyone else in the two grim hours we were sat there.

041706_005It did get better after that.  The train to Pembroke Dock (Doc Penfro in Welsh) is a rickety, quasi steam-powered affair that breaks up into pieces at the entrance of every province until by Camarthen there remains just one wagon, and I had to request that it stop at Kilgetty.  Not only that, but the track limns the beautiful sand spits of the Camarthen Bay delta, staying unperturbably level as the ground leaps up and down in dunes and gullies and angular wet plains of ridged gray silt.  The happy few in our huffing westbound carriage stared transfixed at the long fuchsia and orange ventures the dying sun made into the slate-colored pools of resting water in the bogs, like a technicolored cat's tongue lapping up mercury-water.

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My Week With Dysentery

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I don't know what the hell made me so sick, but I've a hunch it was karma.  When you burn candles at every possible end for a year and a half without the merest blip of phlegm or backsplash of bacteria, you've got a big one coming, and in my case, it was The Mother Of All Diarrheas.  I can only thank my lucky stars that I was in Wales when it happened rather than Hackney. 

Dysentery Scenario I, Lower Clapton, Hackney:
Seven a.m. Wednesday morning approaches, signaled by the hip-hop being turned up another forty decibels, the arrival of another eight guests, and rising plumes of smoke through the floorboards of a shade and odor indicating a move from Class Bs to Class As.
Nathalie: Rrrhhhhaaaaaaa, I want to die.....

Dysentery Scenario II, Ivy Chimney Cottage, Pembrokeshire, West Wales:
Seven a.m. Wednesday morning approaches, signaled by the cat's jumping onto the duvet for a snuggle and Vickie replacing my hot-water-bottle with a new one before she's off to work.  Sheep graze quietly on the meadows outside. 
Nathalie: Rrrhhhhaaaaaaa, I want to die.....

Okay, so being sick sucks wherever you are, but I was definitely better off splashing up Vickie's toilet bowl.  I left the house once this week, to visit the doctor: I was seen immediately, given medicine for free, and back in bed within the hour.  Had I gone to the clinic on Lower Clapton Road, I'd have had to wait for about six hours for an appointment, surrounded by gunshot victims and smackheads mumbling for methadone (This is total speculation, of course--I've never been there.  But I bet I'm not far off.) 

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March 10, 2006

Pedro the Pig Leg

Img_0145_1I picked up two things at the expo in Paris: a pig leg named Pedro and Basque salumier from the Aldudes named Thierry, who sold me Pedro.  This photo depicts me with the pig leg, which made the journey to London on the Eurostar and to Hackney on the 48.  My rapt gaze is directed at Thierry, offstage.

Pedro, a very special Basque pata negra ham, was honored at a celebratory dinner that occurred on Thursday, March 9.  It was going to be on Wednesday night, but we had an important Circulus concert to attend then.  Even pig legs wait for Circulus.

As Pedro had been hanging above the range in my kitchen--the ideal smokehouse, some reckon--for a few weeks, doubts arose as to the desirabilty of lopping off any more raw meat from his tender shins.  His meat was the best I'd ever tasted, but the fumes wafting up from the stovetop, not to mention our kitchen table, had dried out what little bits of flesh remained.

We decided to make soup.

032106_029032106_035_1Here Marika is shown trying to break Pedro's knee, so that he fits inside the stockpot, at right.  Vick chopped potatoes and carrots, Luca threw in his marinating mushrooms, Jon probably ashed into the pot, and I added at the last moment a perimating can of borlotti beans from our favorite Chatsworth Road off-license. 

The soup was smoky and clear with smooth, hammy flavours.  Pedro sang an emotional tenor off of which the potatoes ricocheted their bass notes and the borlotti their alto.  God, drinking really does help my writing style.

With the soup we ate some leftover Swiss brown bread from the dairy spread with clumps of Kerry Gold butter.  I've been obsessed with Kerry Gold ever since I visited Graham Kirkham and tasted the butter he rubs his Lancashire rinds with, which I imagined to be the pure and lustruous battered cream from the milk of his dad's small herd of cows.  Wrong.  Graham does his rind-buttering with good-old-industrial Kerry Gold, imported in great foil-wrapped lumps from Ireland.  No matter, I still find it delicous, and better yet, I can get it on Chatsworth Road for £1.19.

032106_033Here's what was left of Pedro by the end (cracklings not pictured).  When Vickie comes back to town, we'll have to make crubeens.  Yum.

March 01, 2006

Eating, Drinking, Smoking, Snoring, Singing

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It’s a revolving door of opportunities, that Neal’s Yard Dairy.  So said Mateo Kehler to me in Chicago what seems a very long time ago.  Quite apropos, then, that the best break to come round in ages arrived straight from the horse’s mouth: an all-expenses offer to accompany him through France for a week visiting affineurs and cheesemakers, my only contribution being logistics, translation and company.  For the record, anyone interested in the same services is quite welcome to email me, immediately.

So we went, and now we’re back, ten pounds fatter with cheese and wine and pig parts and ten pounds lighter in cares and city-weight and time spent in snow and golden sun.

So, Internet, what did we eat?  Well, we met Valérie at the Halles in Lyon to savor pig face salad, pig’s ear, blood sausage, andouillette (intestines), and batter-fried tripe—this, our equivalent of breakfast after a six a.m. flight.  We met Hervé at the Troisgros brothers’ bistro in Roanne for Charollais beef so pillowy we could have cut it with spoons and one of the best wines I’ve ever tasted, a chocolatey 2004 Chateauneuf-du-Pape.  The next day, at his caves in Roanne, Hervé offered us his opinion of what was ‘good at the moment,’ a cheese board that tragically spoilt us for the rest of the trip: highlights included St.-Marcellin, Bleu d’Auvergne, Picodon Fermier, Tommette des Alpes, and Fromage du Maquis, which we washed down with Eric Bordelet’s Normandy Sydre.  Then we nibbled Pralus mini-chocolates in the car down the A43.

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February 09, 2006

Iss Vienna Finger Season

Tuesday felt like the worst day of my life. And just when I couldn’t be feeling any lower, sitting in front of a computer at 3 p.m. as it was getting dark, a package arrived, from Megan Parker-Johnson. She’d sent from Philadelphia an envelope with inside a letter in her familiar handwriting, a few maps and pictures, and a box of Vienna Fingers.

Vienna Fingers Reference One
Vienna Fingers Reference Two 

It changed my entire outlook on the day. I fairly walzed home. And I’ve been here since then, forty hours later, eating that box of cookies one by one. 

It is February right now in London. I don’t know what February looks like wherever you are; maybe you’re picking through a bowl of cherries, or chopping up a pineapple. Maybe you’re on a ski slope and the sun is shining bright. From London, February is a long, vast plain of boredom and cold, a veritable bobsled ride of fucking misery.

The food at the off-license at the around the corner is getting increasingly repetitive, and every time I go in there it feels a bit Groundhog Day. Yams, leeks, dirty bruised potatoes. A crumpled spray of coriander. Green bananas, onions shedding papery skin, fat, brittle bunches of garlic. We in there—everyone and everything—are dried out and crevassing. I’m fantasizing about radishes, about watercress, about celery. I’m fantasizing, basically, about spring.

Tonight Barnabe’s daughter Kaya and I made cake from my last box of Betty Crocker. We couldn’t be bothered to make a real cake, and there’s no butter in the house anyway, so we poured the Betty into a bowl, added eggs (we only had two), and oil. I toasted some sesame and sunflower seeds and we chucked them in. As the cake baked we came up with what we thought would be icing but turned out more to be like a sauce, out of blood-orange zest, juice, and sugar crushed from this brick of rapadura that Barnabe hauled back from Brazil. It was lovely, especially daubed with the ass end of the crème fraîche.

When I came back upstairs, there were still a few cookies left. I ate those, too, couldn’t resist. You can keep your fucking coconuts. In here right now, it’s Vienna Finger season.